The truth about online dating.

Those who know me have heard stories about where I live. A tiny town in farm country, NY, which is comprised primarily of cows and conservative farmers. Not exactly the best place to find a significant other, I've turned to online dating. (People at work simply are NOT an option.)

I had turned to online dating at first because of my Aunt's persistence. I met a few guys and ended up with Jordan. After that ended, I decided to give it another go.

I updated my profile, added some new, post-zumba photos and let time do the rest. This time around I received MANY messages. This is where things get interesting.

Guy #1: "I have four cats and love them more than my family. I live alone but not really alone because my cats keep me company when I'm home!"

Guy #2: "Yo shawty, whaz hott?"

Guy #3: "I'm big into Marshall arts. My sister just had a doughter. Do any of your sisters have doughters?"

Guy #4: "I'm a manager of a rental car chain. I am close to my family and adore my baby nephew. Let's do dinner and a movie on Friday!" *calls when I'm 1/2 way there, excuse given, don't hear from him again.*

Guy #5: "I'd love to get to know you. How was your weekend?" *reply sent, haven't heard back in a month.*

Guy #6: "All I want is sex. If you're down for that hit me up. You're good looking, I'm good looking and we can just Fu*k all the time."

Guy #7: "Yeah, I participated in the Highland games this year. I loved it and hope to participate again. If you give me your number I'll give you a call sometime." *number given, no call received.*

Guy #8: "I love family. I'm at a point in my life where I want to settle down. Do you want kids? Our birthdays are two days apart? You're beautiful and I can't stop thinking about you."

Guy #8 and I are still talking, still hitting it off and hopefully things will progress nicely. We talk every day and sometimes I'll get a text from him while he's at work, just saying hi and seeing how my day is. He's kind and considerate and we have a good deal in common.

As for #s 1-7...
Weirdos. I know I'm picky, but if you continually misspell words like DAUGHTER then we simply will not work. Also, while the idea of a booty call is great, I'm looking for more.

I also did not list the men who were over the age of 50 who have messaged me. It's just ridiculous.

Online dating has allowed me to meet new people, a couple of which I have remained friends with. I'm just hoping I'll have more luck this go-round and not end up in another dead-end relationship with someone who is afraid of what's to come.

Wish me luck!


-Jess

Rock Star!

Yea, you read the title correctly. I am a rock star. Let me tell you why:

I have managed to lose 18 pounds and am down to my high school pants size. It's refreshing to put on the pair of capris I have and actually feel comfortable in them. I've been stuck at the 18 pound mark, but I'm hoping time will help shed some more.

For the most part I've been attending three Zumba classes a week and hitting the employee gym twice a week. It's definitely helped maintain my energy level and has helped to solidify a budding friendship between myself and my supervisor. She has been attending the Zumba classes with me and I have talked her into coming to the gym with me as well. I'm glad we have become such good friends. I'm actually going to prom (the one we hold for out graduating students) with her, so that should be a good time.

Work has been pretty wonderful. Changes are underway and they are all thanks in part to an anonymous letter that was submitted by yours truly. Raises are in the works and lots of opportunities to further our career are going to be offered. I'm also 20% vested in my company's retirement plan as of this year, which was nice to see.

Family relations are at an all-time-high. I've spent quite a bit of time with the Ropke side of the family lately and I love every minute. I look forward to seeing them and hate leaving!

Romantically things have been interesting. I was hit on by a co-worker but he is not really compatible with me so I had to turn him down. I was flattered, however. Jamie (my supervisor) has her eye out for a man for me. Let's see what it brings.

Anyway, quick update on life is complete. Until next time. :-)


-Jess

Family

Tomorrow is my baby niece Cara's christening. I'm very excited that I'm able to go, as it's affording me opportunities to meet and reconnect with family. I have never met Cara or her older brother Connor (2) and I'm excited to get to know them. I've seen pictures and videos of them both and am convinced that they are equally as cool as my older niece and nephews.

I will get to see my sister and brothers (and wonderful in-laws of various sexes) for the first time in months, and that is always a plus for me. I've been very fortunate in my relationships with my siblings. Although they are all (with the exception of my adopted sister Joanne) half-blood relation, we get along really well and genuinely care about one another. I love being in the company of such diverse and incredible people, and I'm glad to be part of their family.

I will also be seeing Joanne for the first time in two decades tomorrow. I'm not sure if she remembers me or even cares to, but I'm interested in getting to know yet another (albeit distant) sibling. I'll let you know how this goes.

While talking to my sister Heather, she mentioned that my brother Josh will be coming home (from TX) the week before Easter. The last time I saw him was 2003 for my grandfather's funeral, as we managed to miss one another by an hour the last time he visited. I'm hoping I get to visit with him a bit, but my plans with Trista come first as they have been set for months and I'm not one to change things around.

I'm very excited about tomorrow and am hoping to share lots of stories with you. :-)


-Jess

Just for fun

What I find endlessly attractive in a man:





All of Gerard Butler...lol






Eric Bana is nice to look at too.






Yep, him too.






Man-thighs are great. (I need to marry a Scottish man!)






Man-hands. Yum!






A nice, full, well maintained beard.

It's the little things, no?

-Jess

Journey to a healthier me

The past few months have been filled with doctor's appointments and some health-related worries. When I went for my yearly gynecological visit I found out that my blood pressure was through the roof. It was something like 167/93 (or possibly 163/97, both awful) and led to my doctor saying "holy crap your pressure is off the charts!" was I under stress? Of course, who isn't? It certainly was not enough stress to cause my body to react in such a way. My exam went well and we decided to end my once wonderful relationship with the nuvaring and go sans-birth control for the first time in ten years. My doctor said she wanted to see if it was the nuvaring that was causing the blood pressure spike and scheduled me for blood work and a pressure check for the following week. That one appointment really had me think about my lifestyle and the things I was doing to my body. In general I eat a well-balanced diet. I try to eat lean proteins, whole grains and limited fats. Do I splurge? Of course! When I have my period there is nothing that I want more than McDonalds fries! I just try not to splurge often. My lifestyle isn't overly sedentary. I am on my feet for at least 5 of my 7 hours at work and that isn't counting the walking/running/lifting/SCIP (ways of using your body to help contain aggressive behaviors) that I do throughout the day. I average 6000 steps a day at work. Some days are far more (the most I've logged was 13000) and some are less (on days we can't go outside because of weather it's about 3000) but I move a lot. I come home and play with coda, take him on walks when the weather is good and do some general house-related tasks before sitting down and relaxing. Why was my body not cooperating with my lifestyle? I picked up my book on PCOS and started to read again. That's when I decided to get control of my body and make it work with me. My follow-up with my gyno confirmed that the nuvaring had elevated my blood pressure. She wants me off birth control for a year before deciding if an IUD or the depo shot would be best for me. I then asked her to refer me to an endocrinologist so I could discuss my PCOS and med treatments more thoroughly. At my endocrinology appointment my blood pressure was fantastic. I brought up the use of two different drugs, both of which were okayed after some discussion, a physical and a 6 week follow-up scheduled. The one drug I am hoping works is called metformin (glucophage) and is traditionally used to treat people with type-two diabetes. I'm sure you're thinking "what does that have to do with polycystic ovaries?" According to the studies on PCOS, many women have problems with weight gain because our bodies do not process insulin correctly. Women with PCOS have a higher risk of diabetes, heart attack and stroke because of the hormone imbalances, weight gain an insulin resistance. Metformin has been prescribed to women like me who have tried to lose weight but cannot. It helps our bodies process our food better and therefore leads to less fat being stored. I've been on it for only 5 days and am only on 1/3 of my actual dosage so it's still too early to say if it's working. I have, however, started keeping track of everything I eat and all the exercise I'm doing since my first gynecology appointment, and am down 12.5 pounds. I'm still in my typical weight-loss range, and am not expecting to get to my high school weight (the thinnest I've been since puberty) easily. I've not really changed what I eat (except I am eating breakfast now) but rather how much and when I am eating. I'm trying to teach my body that smaller meals more frequently is better than no breakfast and two enormous meals. I've been doing zumba at least three times a week (this week was tough due to heat problems in the house) and have been doing some calisthenics and time with the weighted hula hoop. Here is hoping that keeping up with this lifestyle change will help my body self-correct. All I know is I'm glad it's almost hiking season. I can't wait to do some serious calorie burning on my favorite trails!


-Jess

Stop the whining

I have a friend from high school named Jessica. We had lost touch when I went to college but have reconnected over the years via Facebook. She has made some decisions I don't agree with (getting pregnant in high school (she lost the baby to SIDS), having three more kids with fathers who aren't around or are in jail) yet I've been listening to her troubles and I'm done.

She is currently complaining about her job situation. Jessica had worked at Winn-Dixie for a number of years and while I'm not certain why that job ended I know that since then (3 years now?) she has not had a job. She has managed to get pregnant and have another child but can't seem to find employment of any kind. She finally found a job at Lowes yet can no longer work because she can't find babysitters for her three kids. She does nothing but complain about having no money yet she is living in section 8 housing at basically no cost to her thanks to the Florida government, she and her kids receive state provided healthcare, she receives unemployment benefits and food-stamps. She has Internet and cable, food on her table every month, healthy kids and she gets to sit on her ass the whole time instead of having to work for these benefits. She essentially earns more than I do by not working.

I sometimes quip about how I'm broke but I bust my ass for my $9.50 an hour. I pay for my own healthcare because the state of NY was no help to me when I was jobless. I make exactly $1020 a month to live off of. I pay $450 a month in rent, $120 for gas (sometimes more depending on weather and prices), $110 for the cell phones for my mom and I, $20 for Netflix, $50 for car insurance because mom is nice enough to pay the rest, I have to set aside money for my electric bill that falls every other month ($50) and then I have to set aside money for propane ($100) bringing me near my total income every month. I also have had emergency expenses come up, doctor's co-pays, prescription costs and the possibility of grocery shopping factor in. I gave up Internet, cable, a house phone, my ice skating lessons and practice as well as entertainment out because I couldn't afford it. My most recent propane bill is over $700 which is going to take me forever to pay off. I need 4 new tires. I don't bitch and complain about how I'm entitled to so much more because I make what I have work. If I want a luxury, I forego groceries or find a way to make enough money to purchase it. I wanted to buy my mom something for her birthday last year so I sold my A clarinet on eBay. I've tried to receive state help but even when I was working part-time as a sub, I made too much and since I have no kids they couldn't help me. I receive $600 in heating assistance from NY in the winter yet my total winter propane costs equal about $1400. People making twice my salary receive the same benefit. There have been days I have used banked time because I didn't have enough gas in my car to get to work. I make my situation work, she needs to figure out a way to make hers work. Trista is coming up in April. I want to do things with her so I'm saving money now. I'm planning on pulling some extra hours in the residence so I can have fun over break. I am doing what I need to do. I just wish the rest of society would do the same.

Is it wrong of me to wish people receiving such benefits to shut the hell up and do something about it?




-Jess

Frustrated.

I'm aware I haven't posted in awhile and while plenty of other topics have come to mind, I feel as though I need to vent my frustration about a recent incident first.

Setting: My living room, watching Glee. I get a text message while on the phone with mom. I ignore it until I'm done only to realize it's a text from Jordan. He wants to come up and get snowed in with me and wants to "fuck me hard."

Rewind! What?! After about ten minutes of texting he says "relax, no harm no foul." Obviously Jordan had and continues to have no idea who I am as a person. No matter how lonely I am or how badly I feel as though I need sex, I cannot forget being treated like shit and invite an ex over. I may not say it every day but I sure do feel it: I am worth more. If you miss me, it's your fault. You had your chance and blew it, and I will not take you back. I am not one of those girls that breaks up with someone 20 times only to get back together with them each time. Don't give me a reason to break up with you and we will stay together. If I break up with you it's because I can picture my life without you and it looks good.

Moral of the story? Treat a woman right the first time around and you won't be sending highly inappropriate texts months after she dumps your slacker ass.

Anyway, on to the rest of my life...

*deep breath*
Winter sucks. A lot. My tires have lasted about a year and are in dire need of being replaced. In the meantime, I'm accruing a day of sick time a month and am having to risk my life driving down my mountain in awful weather on snow days until this upcoming pay day when I will have actually saved enough money from my measly pay to buy snows. Of course this means that this has been the snowiest winter. Ever. We had a snow day today (I used my only banked day) and will most likely have one again tomorrow. Considering it's supposed to snow another 8-10 inches plus an inch of ice, I'm going to brave the waters and probably go into "no-pay" time. What's worse, I don't work a day or I don't work again because I'm dead? That's what I thought.

My baby sister has turned 13. I feel old.

That is all for now. My brain isn't functioning.


-Jess