When things are new, we often jump into a guarded and cautious method of being. We don't want to put ourselves out there and find that this new thing, be it job, relationship or even a new hobby, was a waste of time, effort and emotion. It's our natural safeguard. I have stepped out of that safety bubble, and so far things are looking good.
I'm dating. It's strange to say/think/type those words. It's been a pretty long time since I've been in this situation and I'm nervous. I'm not "I can't eat in front of him" nervous. He actually makes me feel very comfortable around him. I'm more of the "I really hope I don't do something to mess this up and send him running" nervous. I like him. I admit that to myself, and that's the most nerve wracking part of this whole thing. It's still new, and yet I'm allowing myself to say "I'm in it" and open myself up to a possibility of the good and the bad. I have a feeling that there is going to be a whole lot more good than bad though. He was really understanding when I ran out of propane this weekend and had no hot water, heat or formal cooking surface. I managed to make dinner and breakfast (and finish the blondies that had started baking) in the microwave, but he did what he could to make me feel better about the situation at hand. He's a good guy, that's for sure.
-- Jessica
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