Post-wedding thoughts.

Well, the big day is over. Josh and Trista's wedding day has come to a close. How do I feel? Primarily I feel a mixture of sadness and relief. Perhaps this is a temporary feeling and I'll go back to feeling happy tomorrow.

The sadness has a lot to do with the realization that my best friend (aside from my mom) is someone I do not see often. I was finally able to be with her for the first time since may 2007, and now it's over. I miss her so much and I'm sad that it was such a short time spent with her. I'm staying with her sister tonight and when I came back to her room I started crying. I was sad that I'd have to leave my friend again and go back to my routine without her. I feel that way frequently, because my closest friends are The furthest away in distance. Jordan had become my best local friend, which has helped and terrified me all at the same time.

I was able to see many people I haven't seen in years this weekend, and most of it was quite pleasant. I finally saw my old clarinet player and "mom-away-from-mom", Lynn Musco, which helped make the trip a great one. She is such an inspiration and helped me through so many rough times in my life. I love her with all of my heart and it was really hard for me to say goodbye to her. We chatted for about 10 minutes and it really made me miss her more. I'm hoping that when and if I get married, she will come to the wedding. :-)

This weekend also caused me to miss Jordan so much. Seeing all the couples made me wish that he was with me. Hearing all the stories of new relationships and seeing Trista and Josh take that next step made me think of how lucky I am to have a man who treats me so well and who makes me laugh. He's such a wonderful man and I really wished he could have shared this with me. I wish he could have met those who are close to me. It's crazy to think that a psychic could have been right, but here i am, 25 years old and in love with a wonderful man. The psychic said I'd be with my soul-mate, the one I am to marry by this time. Part of me really thought that Jordan could be it. It didn't scare me. It actually was a comforting thought. Maybe it's how I actually feel. Maybe it's just wedding emotions causing it all. Time will have to tell. All I know is that the past 7 months have been amazing, and I always
hope that there are many more wonderful months to come.

Tomorrow I'm going to Monique's and then I help her band camp out before being dropped off at the airport. I am sad to leave, but i can't wait to be home. It's an odd feeling, but one I'll just have to deal with.

To Trista and Josh, may all the happiness in the world make it's way into your life. I hope that you will never forget this day, and what you felt when you became husband and wife. I love you both with all my heart.