Public service announcement.

This post is for parents of school-aged children, for couples thinking of having children and teachers everywhere.

Do. Not. Send. Your. Kid. In. To. School. When. They. Are. Sick!

I know this happens in all school situations, but I'm also aware that with immuno-compromised kids such as students at the center where I work, a common cold can turn into something much worse very quickly. I have a student who came into school a terrible cough, thick green snot pouring from her nose, a raspy voice and her menses. The poor girl was miserable. She suffers from pica, a condition that causes a person to eat anything, no matter if it's food or not. I'm sure that her sticking her finger up her nose was to relieve the congestion, but the eating of her snot was not. She was contaminating surfaces left and right. I write in her communication book that day that she is clearly sick and feeling miserable. Thankfully mom decided to keep her home the next day.

What happened next? Three of the staff in the class (myself included) start feeling cold-like symptoms. Two of our other students start suffering the same symptoms. This all could have been avoided if she had just stayed at home when this began.

What happens when you send your child in to school when they are sick? Your child infects the people they come into contact with. This includes the teachers and staff. What happens when teachers and staff get sick? They call out and your child doesn't receive the education/care that they deserve. Wouldn't you rather your child watch a movie at home when they are too sick to really function instead of watching a movie during precious class time because the teacher is too sick to function?

I'm aware that finding child care or taking a day off of work is a burden, but that is something that needs to be considered when you have kids. We as teachers do our best to stay in good health so we can provide the best education (and personal care in my situation) that we can provide, and sometimes we are insulted that you think so little of our well-being.

So what next? Lots of hot tea and cold meds for me. Hopefully I can kick this from my system before Christmas!


-Jess

On a computer

Ah, it feels so refreshing to type a blog from an actual computer instead of using the tiny iPhone keyboard. There are sometimes too many ideas and not nearly enough time to fight with the auto-correct function or the numerous mistakes one's thumbs can make.

My last post was made due to some experiences I had over the Thanksgiving Holiday weekend, and those experiences have led me to call off the relationship I had with Jordan. The strange thing is that after being together for a year, I felt no remorse or guilt for making the decision I have made. I don't feel as though I should have stuck it out in a relationship that wasn't good for me, and I'm thankful that my support system (friends and family) have felt the same. Was Jordan a good boyfriend? Yes, mostly. Were there issues that would not have worked themselves out, causing more negative than positive moments? Yes. I appreciate the relationship we had and hope that he is able to find someone better suited to his lifestyle, as I was not the one.

It's hard not to think back on past relationships and crushes and the men you admired for one reason or the other when you leave a relationship. You try not to compare one man to another, but it's a way we women weed out the attributes that we want from the ones that are deal breakers. Out of all of the men in my past, I really feel as though a person like Luke is the type of person I need. In general I feel as though I need someone who has strong family values and a good relationship with their family. I need someone who is active and doesn't mind a hike now or then. I need someone who cares about what they eat and their body and would rather come home and have a home cooked meal than stop at McDonalds 4 times a week. I need someone who is going to be a partner in the relationship, helping me without being asked and offering to cook or clean before I ask if they are hungry. I most certainly do not mind cooking for my man or making the home a clean and comfortable place to live, but I do need someone who isn't going to expect me to do it all the time without a little help. I need someone who is going to respect me for me, including all of my preferences and pet-peeves and not get upset when I try and talk about an issue. I need someone willing to communicate with me, not keep it all in and harbor resentment.

I know, to some it may seem like I'm looking for a lot in one person, but I feel as though my friend Trista said it best:

We are high maintenance women. Not necessarily in the sense that we have to look perfect all the time, be showered with gifts or expect lavish dates, but we expect the men we are with to already have the respect for us and for themselves to have already met the criteria we have outlined for our relationship. We are hard-working women who constantly put others first and feel as though we are more than deserving of a man like that. Lucky enough, she found hers. Now it's time for me to keep looking.

I re-activated my eHarmony profile and already have received some communication requests. Who knows what I may find or what the upcoming year may bring. Lets just say I'm excited to see what happens and will definitely keep you all posted.

I'm thankful that I've become this strong, independent woman. I'm hoping I can find someone who is thankful for that as well. :-)

About me

My readers should know me pretty well by now, but just in case you need a refresher this list is here to help.

-I have 7 siblings. All but one is a half-blood relationship. One of my older sisters was adopted.

-Family means a great deal to me. I don't see them all as often as I'd like, but when we are together we talk, laugh and have a good time.

-I have a couple of grudges that just cannot be let go. I'm not proud to admit it, but I'm honest with myself about it. I'm better off without those people in my life and will not be told otherwise.

-I may not know a great deal about the world but being told I'm wrong about what I do know about is a way to boil my blood almost instantly. I pride myself on what education I have and am willing to learn more about what I don't know.

-I take even greater pride in my work ethic. I am highly offended when someone questions the work I do or makes me feel as though I have slacked off.

-I will give anything and everything I can to those I love, no questions asked. I spend all I can, give as much of my emotional self as I can and even will do what I can physically to help a loved one.

-I don't expect anyone to do for me as I've been independent for my whole life. I don't accept compliments, presents or praise well. I do, however, feel incredibly lucky if someone does something small for me without my knowing.

-I hate being asked if I need help. Instead of asking me, find something you can do to help without my dictating a task, or leave me alone. If I really feel as though help were needed, you would know. Want to really help? Do something for me that I don't enjoy doing!

-I am a particular person about many things. I only use Charmin Ultra Strong toilet paper, pantene pro-v hydrating curls conditioner and I only drink skim milk. These are things I will not willingly change because I find them better than the others. I will spend extra if I have to to have these things.

-I had a step-father who has unfortunately shaped my view of men and has shown me all I cannot have in a relationship. This is not fair to the people I date, but fair to me. The amount of stress he brought to my life and the awful situations I found myself in have in a sense scarred me and I will not live through it again. If this means I'll be alone for the rest of my life, so be it.

-I am a heavy-set woman, but I am active in many ways. I work an active job (running with students, continual walking, swimming, lifting,) I figure skate, hike, boat and move in general. I don't mind staying in, but must not do so for too long. My body physically hurts if I am still for too long.

-My biggest pet-peeve is chewing with your mouth open. I have worked with students who do not have the physical ability to close their mouth when they chew. For everyone who does not suffer from a physical condition it comes down to being lazy.

-My mother is my best friend in the world. This is a fact that must be accepted. This does not mean I do not have other best friends. It just means that she is the one I go to above anyone else.

-I want children. Three or Four children. I hope to be the same kind of mother my mother was to me.

-In a sense, my dog Coda is my first baby. I will do anything to protect him, love him fiercely and will always do more than what I need to do for him. He may frustrate me at times, but he is unwavering in his love, always loyal, and his snuggling up with me has incredible healing powers.

-I suffer from poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. (PCOS) I have been on a birth control regimen since i was 15. I grow hair in strange places, have pretty wicked menstrual cycles and may have troubles getting pregnant when the time comes. It's not fun to deal with.

-I do not like my face to be touched. Part of it is because I like my own personal space, the other part is because of the prickly PCOS hair I grow on various parts of my face. I don't feel feminine because of it, and I don't want anyone to feel it.

-I often make myself available to be "dumped on" by friends but hate bringing my troubles to them. I end up being more emotional over my stresses being shared than I am about the situations I am discussing. I am sometimes too strong for my own good.

-I haul 50lb bags of dog food on my shoulder, can carry all of my groceries in one trip from the car and carry my own Christmas tree without hesitation. I do, however, bruise easily and have a sensitivity to pressure on various parts of my body. The lightest touch can feel like a punch at times.

I will add more later.

-Jess

Hello again

Man oh man it's been awhile. I'm not sure why, but I haven't felt the need to blog lately. I decided after I had to do a factory reset on my phone and found an old blogging app I loved in my iTunes to come back and write about the goings-on.

If any of you are friends with me on facebook, I'm sure you've seen my posts about how much I hate Bank of America. I've been an account holder with BoA since 2003. In that time I've had so many issues with them. Account fraud that was almost unsolved because of their lack of mailing the necessary paperwork, overdraft fees on a positive balance, authorizing companies to take money from my account without notifying me, and the latest "you can't cash your check, but you can deposit it and access your money by Tuesday" fiasco. I have a positive balance in my account. The last overdraft issue was months ago, and was rectified quickly. (Only overdraft because of mother. Ugh.) Apparently I'm not allowed to cash my $512 payroll check because of account relations. What? When I asked about this, I was told that unless I had the money in my account to cover the check I was trying to cash (and then deposit in cash so I could access the money) then I would have to deposit the check. Apparently from now on, unless you keep $500 or more in your account at all times, your account relationship is shady at best and they hold your money hostage from Friday until Tuesday morning. I asked to close my account yesterday. I was told if have to wait for the 4 other people before me and it'd probably not happen today because it was getting close to closing. I asked if I could make an appointment so I wouldn't run into this problem. The branch manager is first come first served. Appointments don't exist. Oh BoA, I hate you.

I will be removing my money on Tuesday, closing my account and moving my business elsewhere.

Work has been interesting. I finally made my case for a transfer which should be happening by the end of the year. Until then, I remain covered in bruises and mentally and physically exhausted. I was asked to teach a toddler music class at a montessori school three mornings a week, but since it's not full-time I was forced to decline. If it becomes a full-time position, they said they would call me and make me an offer. Since they've only been open for a month, they said it might take time to boost enrollment. Keep your fingers crossed!

Things with Jordan have been amazing. We are quickly approaching one year together and it blows my mind. I'm trying to figure out something special for our anniversary. :-) I still hate that I only see him on weekends, but he's keeping his eyes open for a job in this area so he can move in. Keep your fingers crossed for him. I know I am.

Mom just recently had surgery on her knee, but thankfully she's doing alright. They fixed her tendon (it was twisted sideways), shaved the bone shards off of the kneecap and drilled a hole through the bone to allow for constant bleeding in order to re-grow cartilage. She has to put no weight on her foot for 6 more weeks, but her doctor said she'll make a full recovery. This will also allow her partially torn achilles tendon to heal as well.

Anywho, I'm going to head back to my book. Hope this update finds you well.

Stuck in a rut.

I knew that looking for a new job in this economy was going to be a difficult task. I'm well aware that companies simply are not hiring. This is becoming a source of frustration that I simply cannot free myself from. I search for openings almost daily. I'm well aware that beggars can't be choosers, so I'm considering anything with a pay-rate of more than $9.50 an hour. Too bad I am not certified to operate a fork-lift or haven't had 5 years in grocery store experience. I could be making $50,000+ a year right now. The sad thing is that the jobs I am qualified for are either at the same pay-rate or they are for companies who work with people with disabilities. *sigh*

I did take a step to better my current job situation this week. I suggested a transfer to a new classroom. This classroom would be all female residents, and only one has "severe" behaviors. Her biggest aggressive behavior is one that I encounter 20+ times in a shift with just one of the boys I am currently working with. I'm hoping that they okay the transfer. I'd get myself out of a class that is dangerous, and I'd also get out from under my current supervisor. (He and I butt heads quite a bit, so this would be a great change.)

On the home front, things have been okay. I just found out that my mom is pretty badly injured. She nearly completely tore her Achilles tendon and needs surgery before she loses her ability to walk. (If she tears it completely, that's what it will come to. Apparently it is only hanging by a thread.) This was discovered after seeing a doctor about her knee, which she will also have to have surgery on. After 8-12 weeks in a full-leg cast for the Achilles tendon, she will then have the knee operated on and will have to go through recovery for that. This poor woman. I don't know how she does it, but even now, she remains strong and doesn't complain about it. She's dished so much crap and yet she's never "why me" about it. I wish that I will one day be that strong.

Things with Jordan have been going strong. We are nearing 10 months together which blows my mind. I always wish I have more time with him, but I take what I can get and support him and his new job. I can say that I'm hoping a great job in my area opens up for him so he can move in and I can spend every day with him. I had considered looking for something in his area as far as work goes, but we both love where I live so I decided to abandon that idea. Paradise for only $450 a month? Who would give that up?

Alright, that's it for me. Perhaps I'll post more when I have something interesting to say.

Change is certainly needed.

So much has happened since the wedding. After fighting a stomach virus (and losing two days of work), I fell into some financial hard times and as of Saturday had to postpone my skating adventures. I'm completely heartbroken as skating was not only physical exercise, but also a much needed mental outlet. It always allowed me to clear my mind and let go of excess stress. Now it just seems as if that stress is already starting to pile up on me.

I've been in the process of trying to find a new job. The reality is that I get paid $9.50 an hour. That's $9.50 an hour to toilet, teach and be a physical and emotional outlet for my students. That's $9.50 to be a human punching bag more often than not. That's $9.50 to put myself in physical danger every day. It's simply not worth it. Do I love the kids? Of course I do. I think thats partly why my job is so stressful. I go above and beyond my job description because I want my students to have an exceptional quality of life. Every little problem that arises follows me home. Any medical problems haunt me through dinner. Could I have fixed it? Could I have helped them? Could I have avoided being given a black eye? I always put myself completely into my work. This ends up being a positive work trait as well as a negative one. I just need something that will allow me to live beyond my paychecks. I want to save money but can't. I want to come home and not feel defeated. After insurance and taxes, my $512 take-home just isn't enough to live off of for two weeks. I need more.

Things with Jordan have been good. He really has been helpful through this period of frustration.

Another source of frustration is a current fight I'm in with my mother. I am right in the situation and yet she will not listen to reason.

I know that in the end, this too shall pass. I'd just really like a little glimmer of hope to shine on me simply so I don't feel as though I'm struggling for nothing.

Post-wedding thoughts.

Well, the big day is over. Josh and Trista's wedding day has come to a close. How do I feel? Primarily I feel a mixture of sadness and relief. Perhaps this is a temporary feeling and I'll go back to feeling happy tomorrow.

The sadness has a lot to do with the realization that my best friend (aside from my mom) is someone I do not see often. I was finally able to be with her for the first time since may 2007, and now it's over. I miss her so much and I'm sad that it was such a short time spent with her. I'm staying with her sister tonight and when I came back to her room I started crying. I was sad that I'd have to leave my friend again and go back to my routine without her. I feel that way frequently, because my closest friends are The furthest away in distance. Jordan had become my best local friend, which has helped and terrified me all at the same time.

I was able to see many people I haven't seen in years this weekend, and most of it was quite pleasant. I finally saw my old clarinet player and "mom-away-from-mom", Lynn Musco, which helped make the trip a great one. She is such an inspiration and helped me through so many rough times in my life. I love her with all of my heart and it was really hard for me to say goodbye to her. We chatted for about 10 minutes and it really made me miss her more. I'm hoping that when and if I get married, she will come to the wedding. :-)

This weekend also caused me to miss Jordan so much. Seeing all the couples made me wish that he was with me. Hearing all the stories of new relationships and seeing Trista and Josh take that next step made me think of how lucky I am to have a man who treats me so well and who makes me laugh. He's such a wonderful man and I really wished he could have shared this with me. I wish he could have met those who are close to me. It's crazy to think that a psychic could have been right, but here i am, 25 years old and in love with a wonderful man. The psychic said I'd be with my soul-mate, the one I am to marry by this time. Part of me really thought that Jordan could be it. It didn't scare me. It actually was a comforting thought. Maybe it's how I actually feel. Maybe it's just wedding emotions causing it all. Time will have to tell. All I know is that the past 7 months have been amazing, and I always
hope that there are many more wonderful months to come.

Tomorrow I'm going to Monique's and then I help her band camp out before being dropped off at the airport. I am sad to leave, but i can't wait to be home. It's an odd feeling, but one I'll just have to deal with.

To Trista and Josh, may all the happiness in the world make it's way into your life. I hope that you will never forget this day, and what you felt when you became husband and wife. I love you both with all my heart.

It's been awhile.

Wow, Easter was awhile ago, huh? I can't believe I haven't posted since my fantastic weekend in the city. It just goes to show you that I've been busy.

Skating:
I've been busy as usual with skating. I had a competition on May 2nd in Wayne, NJ to prepare for so I was busy practicing my compulsorary (moves-based, no music, judged completely on your technical aspects, no points awarded for "show") and showcase (entertainment and moves-based with music. The more you ham it up, the better) programs. I had decided that I was going to be Carmen Miranda for my showcase, so I tried pretty hard to bring her to life on the ice. This competition was a first for me in many aspects. It was my first competition outside of my practice rink. It was the first time I had worn an actual skating dress. It was my first time doing a program with real jumps (bunny hops don't really count as jumps) and footwork! I worked hard and because of my diligence, I brought home two gold medals and a new sense of pride. Who knew I'd feel so at home performing for a panel of judges as well as an audience of parents and skaters? The mere thought of playing a solo on the clarinet brought my legs to a jello-like consistancy, yet being Carmen Miranda on the ice was nothing to worry about. I was really honored when the skating director from that rink approahed me to tell me I was highly entertaining and that my elements were great. What an amazing feeling! People were coming up to me when it was all said and done to complement my performance. One of the adult competitors from another rink told me it makes her happy to see adults skating in competitions. It is a small group, but I'm hoping that more people will build up the courage and confidance and join in. It's too much fun not to try!

Since the competition ended, I've been working on my moves. I'm hoping to test sometime in July. I also have ordered my first pair of official "professional" ice skates. The skates I'm in now are an entry-level Ridell skate. They have no real padding in the boot, the soles are PVC instead of leather and cork, and my blades just barely have a visable toe-pick. Since toe-picks are essential for jumping (and since I'm doing waltz jumps, half-flips and have begun working on my toe-loop) I decided I was in need of an upgrade. I essentially have spent a month's rent (that I thankfully had to spend, courtesy of a healthcare reimbursement check from my job) but I'm excited to see just what I can do in them. They will hopefully come in before next weekend!

Boyfriend:
Things with Jordan couldn't be better. Well, of course aside from the fact that I don't get to see him nearly as often as I'd like...lol. He is honestly a wonderful boyfriend (manfriend?) and I'm thankful he puts up with me. He's been coming to my skating practices on Saturday mornings, has endured more impromptu family gatherings than I had planned and willingly rubs my feet (even if they are sweaty and have a slight aroma) when we are laying on the couch at home. He's helpful with coda and general housekeeping, he is always asking what he can do for me, and in general, he just makes me feel wonderful. I'm really glad I managed to find this guy. :-)

Life:
Things on the work front have been tense. There are three pregnant staff in my classroom, so that leaves three of us to rotate through the kids with the aggressive behaviors. It takes a toll on you physically and emotionally, but it's all the name of the game. I had to fight for time off for Trista's wedding, and finally was allowed to take two days off. I was given an opportunity to assist in a music therapy session which was seriously cool. The head of the department complimented me on my work and said that she is going to keep my name on file in case she needs help again. That was another little ego boost. :-) the family seems to be doing alright. Olivia is seriously PMS-y, and I'm ready to put her attitude in check. Most of the time she's okay, other times I look at her as though she's been taken by the devil. Alex is his typical soon-to-be-17 self. X-box is his life.

Not a whole lot to report on. Oh! I'm 2 pounds shy of losing 40 lbs. That's pretty rad. I'm hoping to keep it up and see how much I can lose. :-)

-- Jessica

An Easter to remember

This Easter was by far one of the best that I have celebrated. As part of Jordan's Easter basket, I bought tickets to see Fela! We decided to plan a day around the 2:00 matinee performance, and then the next thing you know we landed a hotel room for nothing (thanks to a connection my mom had made). The day we had planned turned into a 2-day event that was full of fun and laughter. We took the train into the city and arrived around 11:20. A taxi ride later brought us to the hotel to drop off our things. From there we went to this hipster burger joint at Le Parker Meridian hotel. It was a cool little place behind a curtain that made delicious burgers. On the walls were tons of celebrity (and wanna-be celebrity) signatures and notes about the food. I thought that was kind of neat. Jordan and I both decided that it was a win on the "dining in NY" list. Good food, decent prices, great feel to it. From there we decided to take a walk down to Pinkberry which was an amazing experience. I had a pomegranate pinkberry with fresh raspberries, blackberries, kiwi and pineapple. Delicious on such a warm day! We sat at the corner of W. 56th and 8th Ave. watching people and eating our frozen treat. We decided to take a walk down to times square to take a look at things (and to be in the general area of the theater) and found ourselves in the M&M store. We killed some time (thanks partially to the line to the ladies room) and then headed to the theater.

I can honestly say that Fela! was unlike any show I've seen. It was electric. Emotionally charged, rhythmically unique, a look and sound that really keeps your blood pumping. It made me happy to break out of the "traditional" musical scene and see something that I normally would have passed over. It also renewed my love for live theater and my desire to be a part of it. The musicians look like they are having such a good time, and you can tell that the cast WANTS to be on stage and that they love doing their job. It made me think about leaving the playhouse last season, and how much I am going to miss being in that environment this summer. (I do, however, remind myself that NO job is worth the verbal abuse I sustained, and the $405 I made a week did not cover the 80 hours of my life I put into my job.) Seeing this show also reminded me that I don't live far from the city, so there are no excuses as to why I cannot renew my love for the theater more often. (Well, aside from finances of course.)

We went back to the hotel after the show and had to hang out for a bit. I had a bit of a headache (allergies I'm thinking) and had to wait for the tylenol to kick in. We decided to grab pizza at Bella Napoli for dinner and then to Crumbs for dessert. Seriously, the best cupcake I've ever had. The raspberry swirl is AMAZING! We headed back to the hotel to eat our cupcakes and decide where to go from there. We decided drinks were in order so we went to 1-2-3 burger shot beer (a sports bar) for a few drinks, then we went back to the hotel to have a couple of more (since we felt badly about not having dinner there). After awhile of talking and laughing, we headed back to the room to crash.

Sunday morning rolls around and we start packing our things and getting ready to head to Telepan for brunch, since Jordan had made reservations for us. We make a quick trip back to Crumbs to grab cupcakes for the family for Easter dessert (which were well received, and the Caramel Apple cupcake is yet another AMAZING flavor) and then took a nice stroll to the restaurant. While walking, we passed the Met which then got my brain going. I want to go see an opera, and it's the same situation as coming to see a play or musical. Just take the train in and go! What's stopping me? Why don't I look into these things? Madama Butterfly is on the list for this season. ONE OF MY FAVORITE OPERAS! You can bet that I am going to start looking into tickets, because I don't want to miss a shot to see productions of great operas because I'm too lazy to help myself. Brunch was amazingly delicious (apple crepes and pear french toast...mmm) but ridiculously decadent, so we decided to walk it off in the Barnes and Noble down the street. About an hour of shopping (and two books later) we left, headed back to the hotel and then to Grand Central. The train back to Beacon was peaceful, and the drive was great until I was about 15 minutes from mom's. I was pulled over (joy) and given a ticket for speeding. We get to Mom's house where there are people galore (Stephanie, Bianca, Chas and Devan came from Newburgh, Lisa, Jill and Adam, Mom, Alex, Olivia, Myself, Jordan and then a family friend Fred. A nice gathering) eating and having a good time. Jordan and I eat, take a trip back to my house so he can finish packing and then he he left.

It was an awesome weekend spent with a person who makes me laugh and smile continuously. (Well, maybe not continuously, but it sure feels like it. :-P) It was full of new experiences and great stories to tell. It was a weekend that will seriously go down as one of the best. I can't wait to see what other weekend adventures will be planned.

The reason we own pets.

Being on spring break has offered me a chance to relax and recharge mentally and physically. What has helped me do this? Honestly, being with my dog Coda.

Over the past week, I've realized that my dog is a continual source of entertainment. Sure, if he does something dog-like that I feel is naughty I stress over it, but that comes with anything in life. (thankfully coda has been pretty good lately...)

I have played with him, walked with him, eaten with him and tested with him. I've also thought a lot about the reason I have him and why he's such a major part of my life.

When I adopted Coda, I had just moved out on my own. No roommate, no family down the road. I wanted someone here with me to help keep away the feelings of lonliness. He did just that. He wagged his tail and looked happy to see me when I got home. He kept me busy walking and playing and cleaning up after him. He gave me a sense of security at night. It was perfect.

It still is pretty perfect. I believe that Coda is a lot like me in the way he acts. He is fiercly loyal to those he loves and yet he can be friendly to everyone. (Jordan and I got into a tickle fight and when I screamed, Coda snarled at him and jumped on him. He didn't get violent, but his warning was heard. Moments later he was curled up in Jordan's lap as though nothing happened.) Coda is skittish and barks at everything (I hear every noise in and out of this house and sometimes it freaks me out) and often moans about noises that bother him. (If I sneeze while he is sleeping, he moans, opens his eyes and gives me a look like "thanks. I was having a great dream!" Coda is clumsy and yet can run like a psycho around the house and any obsticle (suitcase) laying around with such grace that it astounds me. He's playful and lazy and he honestly prefers fresh veggies to kibble. He is a doggie contradiction, and I love him.

I believe that people own pets because it gives them a sense of accomplishment. We are proud of the commands they obey. We are proud of how beautiful they are. We are proud of how well they play with others. We are especially proud of the feeling of relationship success we have with our pets. We care for them day in and day out. They see our good and bad sides and yet not much can destroy the relationship we have with them. It's not like the relationships we have with people. If we get short with our friends or lash out at them because of stress, we may end up with one less friend. I've yelled at coda unfairly because of stress and yet he still wakes me up with doggy kisses and always wants to lay beside me to sleep. He can tell if I'm upset and always finds a way to cheer me up. He even has his own little way of apologizing after he's done something wrong. It may be considered "lame" to blog about your pet, but I figured that such an essential part of my life should be talked about and honored. Two years of dog ownership has taught me a lot about myself, and I'm thankful for the experience. I'm also thankful for the friend it has brought me in Coda. He's the best first dog a girl could ask for.

Flickering Lights

My 12-in-12 attempt failed miserably this past month. I had hoped I'd be back on track, but with my skating competition on the 13th, I was more focused on preparing. Besides, the man came up on the 12th and lord knows I don't pay attention to much else while he's around. (Sickening, I am aware...)

The competition went very well. I skated decently and ended up taking home two gold medals. The man met some family and friends (and was well received) and seemed very supportive. My coach was very proud of me. It felt good, and I can't wait to do it again. I'm just waiting to see when that will be.

Valentine's day was fantastic. I felt like a tool after I opened my gifts from him. What I got him seemed so lame compared to what I received. Oh well. I made him a meal of roasted chicken (which I wasn't impressed with), roasted garlic parmesan mashed potatoes and broccoli with a bread crumb topping. I also made eclairs for dessert. All that really matters is that I was able to spend time with him, and I loved every minute.

Last week proved to be interesting. We had three straight days of snow that dropped three feet of snow in some areas and caused mass power outages. I lost power sometime on Thursday and as of this moment, I'm still without power. It's been beyond frustrating, but thankfully I am okay. It allowed me to visit some of the Ropke side of the family, as well as have a nice (but brief) visit with the man. Sadly, I will not be able to see him until the weekend of the 12th, so it was nice to spend the half an hour I had with him.

Things on the romantic front have been good. I really enjoy his company and his conversation. He makes me laugh and always seems to know the right things to say. My feelings for him are growing and while it scares the hell out of me, it's a nice thing to admit. I miss him every moment he is gone and always anticipate his next visit.

Anyway, there's the update. Perhaps I'll have something more interesting to report later.

Ice Ice baby

Man oh man, where has the time gone? Oh, I know. It's gone into working, playing on the weekends (sometimes with the boy) and skating. Lots of skating. I was approached by my coach about participating in my first Figure Skating competition and so I said "sure, let's do it." Man, I should have realized that my OCD and type A personality would make this more difficult on me than it needs to be. I'm a perfectionist at heart, and try to push myself to be the best at everything I set out to do. This causes me grief on the ice. I have changed my music twice, mostly because I knew I could find something better. I ended up with "It's just a house" from the Up Soundtrack and I love it. I have only been skating with my music for a short time, and yet I have only Monday night left to practice before the competition is here. I know that I have only been skating for a short time, yet I expect things to be perfect while I am out there. I'm also dealing with the fact that I am stuck between skating levels, and cannot do some of the things I can do because of deductions. This simplifies my program a bit, and makes it that much more irritating to me. I lost this past Saturday of skating due to back issues (that I haven't figured out the cause to) and am really hoping that come tomorrow night, I'll be where I need to be to take home the gold.

Things with work have been good. I was told by one of the directors of the Education department that I am an asset to the company and they really hope that I pursue a higher position within the center. I was told that I work well with the kids and that they respond very well to me. I have "a natural talent when it comes to being in a classroom working with children or staff." It was very nice to hear, and it came at the right time. I was starting to get frustrated with my position, but now it's helping me push myself and do what I need to do to to move up the ladder.

The man is coming up for Valentine's weekend, and I can't wait. Despite it being the competition weekend, it should be a good time. I'm trying to figure out what to cook for him for Valentine's dinner and am coming up with no ideas. Hopefully with some research I'll be good to go.

That's all for now. My 12-in-12 will be coming up soon. Keep your eye out!

You've got to ice it.

Trainers have it right. You put ice on an injury to help it heal. It helps take the pressure off. The swelling reduces. Funny how the same can be true about skating and dealing with life.

I've found my skating sessions to be theraputic. While sitting on the bench, I think through all of the things that are bothering me. With each lace I pull tighter, I release one of those thoughts. With each stroke across the ice, I think about the positive things in my life. With each successful move I make, I cheer for myself and feel as though this is what I need to be doing. I can walk into the lobby with the weight of the world on my shoulders, and as soon as my session is over I'm smiling and ready for the next phase of my day. I always want more time. My three hours of skating a week never seems like enough.

I loved weightlifting when I was in High School. I loved it so much that it became a secondary option had I not been accepted by Stetson. I was scouted by an Olympic trainer and was asked to train with him. I still, however, never felt as at peace with that sport as I do with figure skating. It's strange.

This past weekend was my first competition. I was in two events, and placed first in both. I was proud of myself. All of that practice and effort paid off. I received complements by many. I left wanting more. More skating. More testing. More competing. It's addicting.

The skating also brought a slight change in my relationship with the man. (Boy seems wrong to say. Boyfriend...manfriend...I donno.) He came to be supportive of me, and in turn had to meet my mom, sister and entire extended skating family. He did well and was a real trooper. Even though he was shy, everyone really liked him. We girls always try to convince ourselves that the opinions of of family only count a little, but truthfully it matters more than that. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief when mom called me and said she approved. It made it that much easier to like him. Not only did he put himself in that awkward social situation for me, but he spoiled me rotten on Valentine's Day. I've never been so happy and surprised by a guy I've dated like that before. I can't help but like him and the time we spend together. :-)

See? Ice it and it all gets better. I think I'm going to continue this thought for awhile. Perhaps more good luck will come my way.

-- Jessica

Finding comfort.

When things are new, we often jump into a guarded and cautious method of being. We don't want to put ourselves out there and find that this new thing, be it job, relationship or even a new hobby, was a waste of time, effort and emotion. It's our natural safeguard. I have stepped out of that safety bubble, and so far things are looking good.

I'm dating. It's strange to say/think/type those words. It's been a pretty long time since I've been in this situation and I'm nervous. I'm not "I can't eat in front of him" nervous. He actually makes me feel very comfortable around him. I'm more of the "I really hope I don't do something to mess this up and send him running" nervous. I like him. I admit that to myself, and that's the most nerve wracking part of this whole thing. It's still new, and yet I'm allowing myself to say "I'm in it" and open myself up to a possibility of the good and the bad. I have a feeling that there is going to be a whole lot more good than bad though. He was really understanding when I ran out of propane this weekend and had no hot water, heat or formal cooking surface. I managed to make dinner and breakfast (and finish the blondies that had started baking) in the microwave, but he did what he could to make me feel better about the situation at hand. He's a good guy, that's for sure.


-- Jessica

12 in 12

It's been awhile, but the concept is back.





The horse pills I get to take for 5 days. At least while fighting the infection I'll be anthrax free.








It certainly felt colder than this at 7:45. I'd say it felt more like 7 degrees.








This is a pretty decent song. It's in rotation in the mornings when I need something to pump me up for work.








I had to park in the back lot today, so I decided to snap a shot of the back side of campus.








After dropping a student off at a music therapy class, I decided to snap a shot of the center of campus. The paths are heated so ice doesn't form on them, allowing them to be used during the winter.





My landlord's barn is something I enjoy seeing. It means I'm almost home!





My hill. NOT fun in the winter.





You can see exactly how far Coda's chain reaches from the porch.





The new candle holders I picked up at Kohls. Less than $15 for both!


My sister's skating coach gave me my first skating gift: an iceskate tin with mixed nuts.


I used to think reese's pieces were amazing. That was until I tried these. Sooo good! I also removed all the green plastic pieces from my candle holder to say "farewell" to Christmas and "Hey there" to Valentine's day.


Minus the eye goo, he's a pretty cute pup. Since the man friend isn't around, he's the best cuddler around. :-)
-- Jessica

2010

Years ago I was convinced to have a psychic read my palms and tell me my future. My cousins Bek and Mandee as well as their mother took part in this. I don't know about them, but I'm wondering if any of it will come true. This year, I turn 25. According to this particular psychic, this is a big year for me. I went back on my trusty LiveJournal (I knew there was a reason to keep it) and found the post from my psychic reading. Here is what was said:

"-I will live a very long life...past the age of 82.
-I will not be rich in my lifetime, but I will be comfortable.
-I will have two children.
-I will be with my soulmate by the age of 25. Until then, I will be in and out of relationships.
-I've been hurt in the past, and that's why I do not trust easily.
-I'm very romantic and spontaneous.
-Someone in my family is sick, but not sick enough to be in bed all of the time.
-I will have no debt.
-I care for someone now, but he is a very stubborn man.
-I will work very hard for the things that I have, and I will appreciate it because of that."

Mom was having knee troubles and my grandfather wasn't doing well at the time, so that takes care of that particular portion.

I cared deeply about Eddie, and he was very stubborn. I still care for him, but no longer in the romantic sense. This is more along the lines of brotherly affection.

As for the "soul mate" thing...
I'm not going to say that I don't want this to be true. I feel as though I'm at a point in my life where I could be in a long and committed relationship. Am I ready to get married and have lots of sex and babies? (love actually quote...who doesn't love sex...lol) No. I do not feel as though I'm ready to become Mrs. "Insert-last-name-here" just yet. I am most definitely not ready for babies. I love children and desperately want to have kids of my own, just not yet. Whatever the case, we will see what happens by this summer. I'll hopefully be turning 25 in Florida, as it's a mere 5 days before Trista and Josh are married. Who knows what conversation I'll have with trista about my romantic future. :-p

Anyway, I figured I'd share this little blip of information to see what kind of feedback I'd receive. Until next time, happy 2010. Hopefully all that you desire in your future will come true. ;-)

-- Jessica