The 7th wheel

I'm never the type of woman to feel out-of-place being single. I'm confidant enough to eat alone while out and about, have seen movies alone and have gone shopping solo. I've never been in a situation where I've felt like the odd woman out in a group of people until my trip to Lake George with my friends.

Let me preface this by saying in no way did they make me feel this way. This was solely an internal awkwardness that I was feeling. It was my own mind putting this pressure on me.

Yesterday I went to Great Escape with Jamie and her husband Derek, Derek's brother Jeremy and his wife Natalie and Jamie's brother Johnny and his wife Zoryida. They are all people I get along and hang out with frequently. An incredible group of individuals that I have growing friendships with. I wouldn't change that for anything. The thing I'd change? Rides being built for six. Can't they be built for eight? We were constantly having to split up the group because I was the odd duck. The one who didn't "fit". When it came to the roller coasters, not everyone participated so that wasn't so awkward. It was the group rides that made me feel as though it would have been easier if I had someone with me or hadn't tagged along. The day overall was a wild success and we had a great time. Spent all day in the park, had the best ice cream in the state of New York (Martha's Dandee Cream) and enjoyed an amazing sushi dinner. Of course now my head is full of "you need to be a part of a twosome" thoughts that I just can't shake. Where did this independent woman's spirit disappear to?

I've been dating quite a bit recently, but up until yesterday I haven't been wanting to rush into a relationship. Have had the "fun summer, if it turns into anything then so-be-it" mentality. The date (first date for us) I experienced this Wednesday was the best date I've ever been on. Perhaps that subconsciously snuck up on me and planted the singleton-inferiority idea in my brain. I admitted to Trista that I was smitten with this particular person, which is not something I will openly admit so soon. I do not ever want to be caught with all of my eggs in one basket, if you will. I can't stand allowing myself to become so wrapped up with a person and situation that I'm crushed if things don't work out. I am a sub-species of modern women who do not wear their emotions on their sleeves and will not admit to heartache freely. It is simply not me.

Anyway, this post has now turned into ramblings so I am going to end here. Perhaps I'll be back when my thoughts are a bit more of a cohesive unit.